My thoughts are in battle and my heart desires rest. I've been fighting with doubt, insecurity, and shame. Holy Spirit what is the root here? Why do I keep struggling, even when I keep trying to give these things to you? So if this isn't my old nature, it must be the enemy. Maybe you are trying to teach me how to use my weapons.
I need to learn to enter rest, to enter quickly and to stay. To stay in your approval, acceptance, your grace and love. My thoughts, heart know better. That you love me, that you care about me, that you will take care of me, but something deeper or something from outside of me won't let this be real for me. I know I can't think myself into rest, but it is a gift that is released from within me, with the Holy Spirit that I must receive. So teach me, oh Teacher and sweet Comforter how to receive your peaceful presence with gratitude, grace, and joy.
Graham says that "Rest is a Weapon." I need to use this against the enemy.
I also need to learn how to wield my sword, the words that God has given me, against the enemy screaming in my mind and feelings.
It is time to do this, time to learn this, time to take the ground that You declare is mine!
Jodi, thank you so very much for trusting me with this private place of dialogue with the Father. Your words a simply beautiful and i can identify so much with every single post you have here!
ReplyDeleteI am going to "FOLLOW" you so that I will be notified when you post something new (Unless you'd rather I didn't?)
But do not FOLLOW me back because then your face and blog will appear on my Recovering Church Lady Blog and everyone will have access to this sweet private place.
I love you and could not be more proud of the woman that you are!
I'm glad I can feel safe to share, feel free to comment with your words of wisdom. I'll make sure not to add you, so no one will find your sweet secret place. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's kinda scary sharing the deepest thoughts...I haven't ever really shared my full journal before. Yikes.
Thank you for flying with me in our journeys.
Blessings friend!
dear friend! you are so unique! such a precious vessel in our Father's house.
ReplyDeletehow awesome is the Lord?! He is unchanging and complete security. your hunger and desire for His Truth is evident, and you shall surely be satisfied in Him. I love you, Jodi <3